11 Issues I Need for Jennifer Lopez, Submit-Ben Affleck Cut up

Properly, it is official; Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have cut up, and just a little piece of the American dream is gone together with their marriage. Sure, I am being dramatic, however I did at all times discover it lovely that these two discovered their method again to one another after a damaged engagement twenty years in the past; now, although, they’re decidedly capital-O Over, and whereas I am not anti-Ben (principally), I’ve to confess that I used to be extra of a Jen stan all alongside. Beneath, discover all the things I need for Lopez within the wake of her divorce from Affleck.

1. An incredible divorce settlement the place she will get a few of his Gone Lady cash. (Granted, J.Lo seemingly has loads of cash on her personal, but it surely’s at all times sweeter when it is taken away from another person. Sorry, I am vengeful.)
2. An everlasting and emotionally fulfilling relationship with Affleck’s children, who she appears to be near. (See, I am not a whole monster.)
3. A good-closer friendship with fellow Affleck ex Jennifer Garner, probably one the place they impulsively drive to the Madonna Inn and take edibles by the pool all weekend.
4. Truly, a co-authored script concerning the Jens taking edibles on the Madonna Inn, to be delivered to me ASAP. (Ben is not the one one who can write a script along with his buddy!)
5. An extended, contemplative weekend alone someplace distant, the place she will be able to take a look at the celebrities (you realize, those within the sky, not the red-carpet ones).
6. A bunch of recent dance music, to be recorded at her leisure.
7. A brand new rom-com? Possibly starring a scorching youthful lead with whom she will be able to have a rumored dalliance?
8. One other music video set within the Bronx. It is time for Jenny to come back again to the block!
9. An epic ladies’ and homosexual guys’ weekend out in Vegas as soon as she drops her twins, Max and Emme, off at school. The empty nest could be a good time!
10. One other fragrance launch, only for enjoyable.
11. Lastly, when the time is correct: a brand-new romance with somebody regular. Jen, cease courting actors and athletes! Think about a high-school math trainer or a CPA or a labor lawyer! We have all seen Marry Me; we all know you have got the vary.