In her signature style of writing – witty and real – Twinkle Khanna, aka Mrs Funnybones, has shared her take on ‘biohacker’ Bryan Johnson, a multimillionaire entrepreneur best known for his anti-ageing efforts and investments in science and technology startups. In her column for The Times of India on March 30, Twinkle listed ‘practical ways of getting rid of your husband that do not involve knives or hitmen’ and thereby ‘saving your marriage’. Also read | Ditch fast food or die early? Anti-ageing guru Bryan Johnson launches attack on popular fast food joints
Twinkle on ‘the ultimate Bryan Johnson test’
Twinkle said that if your husband still wins in the ‘Ultimate Bryan Johnson contest’, then ‘you should cut your losses, not his wrists’. The actor-turned-author wrote how Bryan Johnson is a 47-year-old millionaire ‘who has dedicated his life and money to reversing the biological effects of ageing and selling people the techniques to do the same’.
She listed how his longevity methods include ‘waking up at 4.30am and sleeping at 8.30pm’ as well as taking ‘over 100 pills’, and ‘measuring all his biological functions from sleep to erections, injecting himself with plasma and fat, not drinking alcohol, and doesn’t go out in the evening’.
Twinkle wrote, “Each time you find your husband and marriage insufferable, I would suggest you compare it to what it would be like to be married to someone like Bryan Johnson. If, for example, your husband forgets your birthday, remember that while Bryan will carefully input your birthday into his devices, it’s only so he can chart your cellular ageing.”
An excerpt from her column further read, “If you get irritated that your other half keeps talking about ‘Rohit Sharma’s form’, it’s worth recalling that Bryan would be regaling you with tales about mitochondrial fraying. In moments when you get annoyed that while your dog has learnt tricks like fetch, catch, and handshake but your husband’s main trick is missionary and then rolling over and playing dead, remember that Bryan sticks to scheduled sex and uses most of his erections as data points in his spreadsheets. If it bothers you that your spouse is not a hands-on father, remind yourself that at least unlike Bryan, he is not taking plasma out of your son’s body and injecting it into his own.”
More about Bryan Johnson
Bryan has invested heavily in his own anti-ageing project, ‘Project Blueprint’, reportedly spending around $2 million annually on various treatments, including blood plasma donations, shockwave therapy, and stem cell injections. He claims to have reversed his epigenetic age by 5.1 years through this regimen.
