40 Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘The Five Star Weekend’

I love a good girls’-trip narrative, so naturally I set my sights on the new Peacock adaptation of Elin Hilderbrand’s bestselling 2023 novel The Five-Star Weekend.

Outside of the aforementioned girls’-trip narrative, I decided not to google a single thing before diving into the episode. Instead, I’m betting on being drawn to at least one thing, which happens to be D’Arcy Carden, who plays Brooke Kirtley. Let’s have some thoughts, shall we?

1. Darlene Love deserves more cultural Christmas credit than she gets, TBH.
2. Also, now I wish it were Christmas, even though it’s almost Emma Christmas (my Cancer-season birthday).
3. Hey, it’s Jennifer Garner!
4. Whenever a foodfluencer says “You won’t believe how easy these are” about a recipe, I automatically disbelieve it.
5. Oh no, someone died!
6. Indeed, Jennifer Garner’s husband died!
7. Oh hell yeah, it’s Heather from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
8. Not the Le Creuset collab!
9. Not to mention the Jenna Bush Hager cameo.
10. Making a chicken pot pie at eight years old seems…dangerous.
11. Is it weird that I can cut onions without crying? Am I a cyborg?
12. Granted, I’m currently single, but if my spouse ever dies, nobody will have to convince me to convene my girlfriends on Nantucket, that’s all I’m saying.
13. Love a little women’s-soccer subplot.
14. Everyone watches women’s sports!
15. And one featuring Regina Hall, no less!
16. It is truly impossible for me to witness Carden onscreen and not see Janet from The Good Place.
17. CHLOË SEVIGNY?
18. Oh, I just went from “watching this for work” to “locked in.”
19. My dog hates this beautiful onscreen dog, in case you were wondering.
20. God, East Coast beach wealth rocks.
21. I mean, not politically or environmentally, but spiritually.
22. “I’m on-island”…LOL.
23. “Every day another Hadid gets an air fryer and decides they’re a chef”…LOL again.
24. That said, not too much on my Hadid girlies, now!
25. Come on, that feta pasta was legit.
26. Well, let’s not call Nantucket “the ’Tuck.”
27. Ooh, what are D’Arcy and her husband deposition-ing about?
28. God, I need a giant beach hat for my own coastal girls’ trip next week.
29. I don’t really get Sevigny’s character, but I trust her to make me get it eventually.
30. Judy MF Greer! I know that’s right!
31. I hate all of D’Arcy’s outfits so much.
32. I love Regina’s, though!
33. I can never remember who this handsome middle-aged white guy is.
34. I’m going to avail myself of IMDb.
35. Oh duh, it’s Timothy Olyphant.
36. The concept that a grown-ass widow’s friends from various life stages wouldn’t already know one another from her cursed bachelorette party…fake as hell.
37. GEMMA CHAN!
38. Ooh, I like those pot holders.
39. What’s this hint of Big Little Lies–esque intrigue, now?
40. Okay, I’ll probably watch Episode 2.