I try to regularly give thanks for the fact that my job often sends me to the movies, but I was particularly grateful today, when I found myself sitting in a (sadly non-reclining, but I made do!) seat at the Grove AMC on a 100-degree Los Angeles day. The feeling was comparable to being enclosed in an icebox full of slightly stale popcorn and frozen Junior Mints.
Was I concerned about the havoc climate change was wreaking on our planet? Yep! But was I also excited to kick back in the cold and watch Practical Magic 2 on the big screen? Also yes! Below, find literally every thought I had while watching the film:
- Stockard THEE Channing!
- She legitimately looks amazing.
- I’m going to google her age really quick.
- 82?!?!?!?!?
- Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman look incredible, too, but they’re not in their 80s.
- Not to pit powerful witches against each other!
- Looking at Sandra Bullock gives me a Pavlovian desire to rewatch Miss Congeniality.
- “That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.”
- We love a male lead with a little earring!
- I need library-style floor-to-ceiling oak bookshelves in my studio apartment.
- Let Nicole Kidman sleep with a bartender named Chad, damn! Can a witch not have casual fun?
- I feel like Nicole and Sandra were lesbian lovers, not sisters, in the original script for this film franchise.
- Not this Ninja Slushi margarita machine product placement!
- Honestly, if you’re going to shill something in a witchcraft movie, this is a pretty decent choice.
- Oh, Sandra, girl, that’s not what “poppers” means…
- …not in my circles, anyway.
- “No magic is stronger than sisterhood.” Tea.
- Let’s not spread the false propaganda that emotionally available male DJs exist, shall we?
- Oh no, Joey King hears the beetle!
- And so does her doctor sister!
- I think that’s significant?
- “Are we too old for a sleepover?” Never!
- Guys, the concept that I am half an hour into this movie with over an hour and a half to go…
- Okay, I’m perking up at the “Landslide” needle drop.
- And, indeed, maybe crying a bit!
- God, Nicole Kidman’s hair is perfect in every frame of this movie.
- Why is everyone being so weird about Joey King having a boyfriend?
- He made lemon squares! He, again, has a single-ear earring! He seems like a prince!
- Car accident?!?
- Sorry, I tuned out for a bit, honestly.
- But it does seem like Joey King’s sweet lil’ boyfriend got hit by a car!
- So witch emotions…break glass?
- God, that garden is nice.
- “Find Kylie”? In London?
- They don’t track each other’s locations?
- Not very bonded-coven of them!
- Ahhh! Voodoo doll!
- Or something!
- Hey, it’s Lee Pace!
- Dude, I am so lost, plot-wise.
- Well, that Friends joke got an extremely mild laugh in this theater.
- New man for Joey King?
- British man, indeed?
- While Earring Guy is in a coma, no less?
- Oh, I think she’s just…platonically talking to a man.
- God, I love the phrase “car boot.”
- And now I’m sad all over again that I slept through the weekly Sunday-morning car boot sale when I was in Edinburgh.
- Is Lee Pace offering Sandra pie a deliberate Pushing Daisies reference?
- I doubt it, but I hope so.
- Ooh, I like Joey’s little slip dress.
- Using the line “You are my person” in a movie in 2026? You owe Grey’s Anatomy and Cristina Yang royalties, I fear.
- Your blood!
- My blood!
- Our blood!
- Aw, Frances 🙁
- Yay, frozen margs and Harry Nilsson 🙂
- If you’ve read this far, you don’t need to see this movie <3
