57 Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘Practical Magic 2’

Was I concerned about the havoc climate change was wreaking on our planet? Yep! But was I also excited to kick back in the cold and watch Practical Magic 2 on the big screen? Also yes! Below, find literally every thought I had while watching the film:

1. Stockard THEE Channing!
2. She legitimately looks amazing.
3. I’m going to google her age really quick.
4. 82?!?!?!?!?
5. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman look incredible, too, but they’re not in their 80s.
6. Not to pit powerful witches against each other!
7. Looking at Sandra Bullock gives me a Pavlovian desire to rewatch Miss Congeniality.
8. “That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.”
9. We love a male lead with a little earring!
10. I need library-style floor-to-ceiling oak bookshelves in my studio apartment.
11. Let Nicole Kidman sleep with a bartender named Chad, damn! Can a witch not have casual fun?
12. I feel like Nicole and Sandra were lesbian lovers, not sisters, in the original script for this film franchise.
13. Not this Ninja Slushi margarita machine product placement!
14. Honestly, if you’re going to shill something in a witchcraft movie, this is a pretty decent choice.
15. Oh, Sandra, girl, that’s not what “poppers” means…
16. …not in my circles, anyway.
17. “No magic is stronger than sisterhood.” Tea.
18. Let’s not spread the false propaganda that emotionally available male DJs exist, shall we?
19. Oh no, Joey King hears the beetle!
20. And so does her doctor sister!
21. I think that’s significant?
22. “Are we too old for a sleepover?” Never!
23. Guys, the concept that I am half an hour into this movie with over an hour and a half to go…
24. Okay, I’m perking up at the “Landslide” needle drop.
25. And, indeed, maybe crying a bit!
26. God, Nicole Kidman’s hair is perfect in every frame of this movie.
27. Why is everyone being so weird about Joey King having a boyfriend?
28. He made lemon squares! He, again, has a single-ear earring! He seems like a prince!
29. Car accident?!?
30. Sorry, I tuned out for a bit, honestly.
31. But it does seem like Joey King’s sweet lil’ boyfriend got hit by a car!
32. So witch emotions…break glass?
33. God, that garden is nice.
34. “Find Kylie”? In London?
35. They don’t track each other’s locations?
36. Not very bonded-coven of them!
37. Ahhh! Voodoo doll!
38. Or something!
39. Hey, it’s Lee Pace!
40. Dude, I am so lost, plot-wise.
41. Well, that Friends joke got an extremely mild laugh in this theater.
42. New man for Joey King?
43. British man, indeed?
44. While Earring Guy is in a coma, no less?
45. Oh, I think she’s just…platonically talking to a man.
46. God, I love the phrase “car boot.”
47. And now I’m sad all over again that I slept through the weekly Sunday-morning car boot sale when I was in Edinburgh.
48. Is Lee Pace offering Sandra pie a deliberate Pushing Daisies reference?
49. I doubt it, but I hope so.
50. Ooh, I like Joey’s little slip dress.
51. Using the line “You are my person” in a movie in 2026? You owe Grey’s Anatomy and Cristina Yang royalties, I fear.
52. Your blood!
53. My blood!
54. Our blood!
55. Aw, Frances 🙁
56. Yay, frozen margs and Harry Nilsson 🙂
57. If you’ve read this far, you don’t need to see this movie <3